To say the last year has flown wouldn't be entirely accurate. There have been sections of it that have sped by at the speed of light and others which have felt interminable. There have been segments, weeks, which have felt like molasses in terms of progress, a term I wouldn't have freely chosen at those moments.
I am officially at the halfway mark in the program, and discovered about halfway through last term that there is, in fact, a wall of sorts into which some of us crash, almost audibly, some more quietly, but crashing there is.
Fortunately said crash did no lasting damage, and for me the realization of having completed nearly half of the necessary coursework buoyed sufficiently for me navigate the remainder of the term and exit without too many additional (or at least visible) scars.
New term has begun, and with it comes the daily pressure to study, always, and stay focused, always, and expand the consciousness while creating a strong foundation with this medicine.
A friend (non student, long-time friend of many years) asked me recently how it was all going at this point, and wasn't it cool that I was treating in clinic and wasn't I feeling some level of confidence now, and was this the right choice after all?
The answers are all positive ones. Yes, the choice was, and is, the absolutely right one for me. Yes, I love treating in clinic, and appreciate that with a patient is where all the academia and philosophy boil down into real life facilitation of healing. And, overall, it's going well. I can't complain, I really can't. Is there stress? Absolutely, but that is due to my wanting to be as good at this as I possibly can be and knowing I can always reach a little further and realizing the commitment I've made to this medicine is really a lifelong promise to continue to expand and learn and broaden, endlessly.
I can't say the choice to follow this path is without its moments of doubt, of discomfort, of self-criticism. I can't say that there aren't days when I tend to second guess my guile in assuming I have what it takes to conquer the academics, then practice the medicine. I do second guess, but so far I've managed to not embarrass myself too badly, and I've already grown so much as a person and a future practitioner that I can no longer envision myself doing anything BUT this for the rest of my life.
So, things are good. Really good, and when I look around me I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be.
I am officially at the halfway mark in the program, and discovered about halfway through last term that there is, in fact, a wall of sorts into which some of us crash, almost audibly, some more quietly, but crashing there is.
Fortunately said crash did no lasting damage, and for me the realization of having completed nearly half of the necessary coursework buoyed sufficiently for me navigate the remainder of the term and exit without too many additional (or at least visible) scars.
New term has begun, and with it comes the daily pressure to study, always, and stay focused, always, and expand the consciousness while creating a strong foundation with this medicine.
A friend (non student, long-time friend of many years) asked me recently how it was all going at this point, and wasn't it cool that I was treating in clinic and wasn't I feeling some level of confidence now, and was this the right choice after all?
The answers are all positive ones. Yes, the choice was, and is, the absolutely right one for me. Yes, I love treating in clinic, and appreciate that with a patient is where all the academia and philosophy boil down into real life facilitation of healing. And, overall, it's going well. I can't complain, I really can't. Is there stress? Absolutely, but that is due to my wanting to be as good at this as I possibly can be and knowing I can always reach a little further and realizing the commitment I've made to this medicine is really a lifelong promise to continue to expand and learn and broaden, endlessly.
I can't say the choice to follow this path is without its moments of doubt, of discomfort, of self-criticism. I can't say that there aren't days when I tend to second guess my guile in assuming I have what it takes to conquer the academics, then practice the medicine. I do second guess, but so far I've managed to not embarrass myself too badly, and I've already grown so much as a person and a future practitioner that I can no longer envision myself doing anything BUT this for the rest of my life.
So, things are good. Really good, and when I look around me I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be.
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